It’s almost 1 a.m. Three guys huddle inside an old Honda. The passenger door is wide open. A plume of smoke rises from inside. Elaine–my partner–hits the Honda’s cabin with her spotlight. In slow motion, three pairs of dopey eyes squint.
“Just some stoners,” says Elaine. We get them out of the car and line them up against a fence.
I toss the car: smoldering joints and a dime bag of weed on the center console. Ashes, lighters, and Zig Zags everywhere. It fucking reeks. No key in the ignition. Shit. If there was, we could book the driver on a DUI beef and impound the car–no car means no accident.
We have to do something. Think. We could take these clowns to jail for being high. But that could take even longer than a DUI. Fuck that.
A better idea: hide the keys in the trunk, under the spare tire. And then lock all the doors. Problem solved, mission accomplished.
Elaine laughs. She loves the idea. It’s good to be working with her again. We write them all for possession of marijuana and kick them loose.
“Hey bro, can I have my keys back?” asks one of the potheads.
“I already gave ’em back to you, bro,” I reply. Elaine and I laugh and drive away. And then we continue patrol.
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Tags: drugs, traffic stop
Dispatcher Sassy Pants
08/13/2010
My God, 5 years of dispatching and this FINALLY explains all the “cops have my keys” calls!
911R
08/13/2010
Dispatcher Sassy Pants you called it!!! Wow, Spark I gotta hand it to you, you are the master! Thanks for the laugh.
Funkkeejooce
08/14/2010
Lol that was great! Very street wise indeed!
Gopher
08/16/2010
Once again, Cops breaking the law without reprecussions.
What you did is called conversion, (and yes it is a property crime) go back to your books and look it up.
Next time stick to the law, book them on their offenses instead of being a lazy moron and breaking the law yourself.
With cops like this, no wonder people hate cops.
Dispatcher Sassy Pants
08/16/2010
Oh please.
Butler, W. #64539
08/16/2010
Typical response from someone with his feet planted somewhere in fantasyland. Get a grip on reality and come back when you’ve gained some life experience, kid.
Ann T. Hathaway
08/16/2010
Ha ha ha! Great solution. I also love these dispatcher’s getting the view and loving it.