So I’m at a holiday party and this guy starts asking me about Occupy Gomorrah: What do you think about it? Don’t you think the number of police used to evict the occupiers was excessive? Were you there? Why don’t they ever use that many police to disperse the Tea Party?

To tell you the truth, sir, I don’t think much of the movement. Do I agree with some of the things they’re complaining about? Absolutely. But I’m not a chronically unemployed schmuck who has time to pitch a tent in a city park.

And yes, I was there when we dispersed those filthy, disease-carrying douche bags from the park. Which takes me to your last question about the Tea Party.

I generally dislike the Tea Party, too. But Tea Party protesters don’t make spears out of bamboo sticks reinforced with rebar. Tea Party protesters don’t stockpile bottles of human waste to be used as chemical weapons against the police. And they’re not spending their day constructing traps to hurt police horses, or training themselves on how to defeat a police skirmish line. The average Tea Party event doesn’t attract homeless baseheads and junkies, which means gangster drug dealers aren’t going to set up tents at a Tea Party.

All of the above means that the Tea Party requires less attention from law enforcement. Which brings me to your question about the number of police used to evict the occupiers. No, the number was not excessive. Given that there were elements at the park ready to engage in medieval-style combat with us, maybe there should have been even more police. But hey, I’m the low man on the totem pole and I don’t make those kinds of decisions.

Don’t you think the movement got hijacked by fringe elements?

Maybe, but why don’t they ever hijack the Tea Party?

What about what happened at UC Davis? What if that were your daughter getting pepper sprayed?

Fuck you. I’ve been pepper sprayed six times. It doesn’t kill you. If my daughter was there, I would hope she’d have enough sense to get up and walk away once she saw police forming skirmish lines and holding industrial-sized cans of pepper spray.

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My partner and I are detaining four juveniles for possible truancy violations. We’re at the edge of the Occupy Gomorrah camp site. The kids claim to be home schooled students. I haven’t decided whether or not to believe them. Some “occupier” emerges from the crowd, camera in hand, and demands, “Is this an investigation? What are these guys being detained for?”

I politely reply that yes, we are conducting an investigation; however, the nature of the investigation is none of his business. “I don’t mind if you record us, but could you please step back so we can do our job?”

“I have a right to be here!” the unshaven, unkempt occupier shouts.

I smile for the camera. “I didn’t say you don’t have a right to be here. But you don’t have a right to impede our investigation.”

The occupier moves back half a step. He’s trying to bait me into a confrontation. Behind the occupier, I see another bonehead spray painting a slogan on a large sheet of cardboard: “THEY GOT BAILLED OUT. WE GOT SOLD OUT.”

You know, I haven’t tried out my iPhone 4S’s camera yet. I pull it out of my pocket and snap a few photos of Occupier #1, and his buddy, Occupier #2, who is now holding up his sign. “Hey buddy,” I say as I’m holding up my iPhone. “You’ve got a typo on your sign.”

Occupier #2′s face turns red as he faces the business end of my iPhone’s camera. “Really?”

“Yea. There’s only one ‘L’ in the word ‘BAILED.’”

Occupier #1 puts away his camera, puts a mask over his face, and drifts back into the crowd. Occupier #2 finds some white paint to cover up his typo. And my partner and I get back to the very mundane, otherwise routine business of detaining four possible truants.

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The “Occupy” movement here in Gomorrah City started off with a bunch of well-meaning folks with a righteous cause. Over time, the huge encampment attracted fringe elements–the crazy, the homeless, and the junkies–who could care less about the movement’s message.

The Occupy camp stinks. It reeks of human waste and body odor. There are Porta Johns everywhere, but too many people are choosing not to use them. Instead they are shitting, pissing, and jerking off in the open. It’s only a matter of time before there’s some sort of outbreak.

I’d rather be answering radio calls and putting gangsters in jail. But instead I’m here, working the Occupy Detail, until further notice.

Stay tuned.

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Thanks to the last two cops who used this car, a higher power was watching over us during our shift. We left the little card right where were found it for the next two officers. I wonder if it will still be valid if they happen to be Muslims or cow worshipers.

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So this 15-year-old girl agrees to suck a homeless guy’s cock for a little bit of weed and some beer. She looks well groomed. Probably grew up in a suburb outside of Gomorrah City. I don’t have any kids, so I wonder–is this underage girls gone wild? Or maybe teenage rebellion to the extreme? Poor parenting, perhaps?

In some ways, I get it. Everyone has a price. Hell, I went to school with plenty of girls who openly stated that they would not marry a man unless he made at least six figures. But a little bit of weed and some beer? When I was in high school, you could get that shit without blowing a fucking bum.

I suspect this isn’t about getting drunk or high. But however this kid rationalizes her behavior, I’m guessing it’s only a matter of time before she’ll be walking that track.

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