This is an oldie but goodie. Just a reminder as to what can happen to you if you don’t mind your gun handling rules.

This guy was a DEA agent who accidentally shot himself while speaking to a classroom full of kids. Due to this amateur video going viral after the fact, he was no longer able to work undercover.

I love this video! It’s one of my all time favorites.

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Today I’m working a rookie named Harvey Lawson. Our first call of the day is a domestic (violence). The caller is a next door neighbor who hears a screaming woman being thrown against the walls. No time to gas up. We peel out of the station parking lot, lights and siren.

Harvey and I make our way to an apartment building near the station. We climb a flight of stairs, find the apartment, and listen for a moment. It sounds like Facebook drama gone sideways.

First knock: the shouting stops. No answer. Second knock: still no answer. Third knock: a tattooed gangster opens the door. “What do you want?”

“We’re here because someone called the police,” I answer.

“I didn’t call you,” the gangster replies. He’s wearing a wife beater tank top and is covered in sweat. His pregnant baby mama is standing behind him, holding her face with her hands, crying.

“Can you do me a favor buddy, and step outside?” I always ask first.

“Fuck you, I didn’t call you.” He’s breathing hard, talking loud.

This time I tell him: “Get your ass out here.”

“Fuck you, pig! I know my rights!” He tries to shove the door in my face. I pop it back open and walk inside. “Hey! You can’t come in here without a warrant! I know my rights!”

Harvey and I grab the gangster, but the sweaty fucker slips away. The girlfriend is fully hysterical, screaming like a banshee. We get him to the ground but he still wants to fight. I tell the girlfriend to step back. She moves in closer. I tell my partner to Taser the asshole. A good jolt later the gangster gives up, but starts running his mouth when the cuffs come on. “I’m gonna sue you fuckers! You ain’t got no warrant! I know my rights!”

Clearly you don’t, ese. Because if you did, you’d know that the police don’t need a warrant to enter your pad under exigent circumstances. Maybe you should have Googled that shit instead of snooping around your baby mama’s Facebook account. All that jealousy and anger got you nothing but a jolt from a Taser and a weekend in jail.

Enjoy your jailhouse burrito and packet of prunes, you asshole. I won’t be thinking of you when I’m at home, knocking back a beer.

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A first-hand account from a criminal who got hit with a Taser. Classic! Great advice for anyone not high on PCP.

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The black man walks me to his Hummer and points to the driver’s window. “When I came back this morning, the window was busted.”

Inside, the car is a mess. It’s hard to tell if he’s just a slob, or if the suspect(s) actually rummaged through all the junk on the floorboards. The man tells me his shit’s definitely been rummaged through, but nothing was taken. As I check and fill in the boxes on my report form he suggests, “I think this is a hate crime.”

There is no indication, on or near the Hummer, that this is anything other than a simple act of vandalism. “Do you think whomever did this to your car knew you were black?” I ask.

“No officer, I don’t think it’s about that,” the man says. “But there’s a lot of people out there that hate a Hummer.”

I nod politely and force myself not to laugh. Duly noted, sir. Duly noted.

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I know I’m a day late and a dollar short, but this is some pretty cool shit. After you watch the video, go buy the action figure here.

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